"I am so sad as I write this list, a rap sheet of sorts—an unsuccessful attempt at an impassionate look at a child I have always loved. After multiple trips to counselors and therapists over his first 9 years, in which they had no idea what ailed him, Quinn was finally diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). In spite of our best plans and intentions I was told he never attached emotionally to anyone, a bond necessary to love and live well. That still breaks my heart, but my “heart problem” developed over time; his seemed congenital.
"I wanted Quinn to become attached to me, to anyone, and did everything in my power to make that happen. For years I’d visited professionals who knew nothing of what I was describing. I even held on to the hope I’d meet one who would believe what I was seeing and saying. I went to graduate school and earned a Master of Arts degree in counseling out of self-defense, thinking that if I became a therapist I would have enough skills as “Q’s” mother to fix his problems. I was told to “just love him more” by well-meaning relatives. I felt guilty because in my pain I heard them say that the problem was me, that it happened because I didn’t love him enough. To blog on 3/11/10
Although we are still in the process of putting together those who'll help get The Boarder movie to the big screen there are several who quietly do outstanding work behind the scenes... Megan Yutesler and Carmen Cabana (co-art director and cinematographer) are the force behind this website. You're doing fabulous work, you two! Thank you, thank you!
Be well and have a great weekend. Jane
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
More signs of attachment disturbances...
Continued from last blog...
"Beginning at his fourth birthday until the end of his sixth year, Quinn:
• ripped and poked holes in his own clothing
• set siblings up to fight with each other then “rescued” the loser
• threatened suicide
• threatened to kill peers “if you tell”
• threatened to kill mother (knives, fire) and siblings
• broke the family dog’s back
• intentionally hurt self and not cry
• skipped school starting in kindergarten
• urinated on rugs and in corners of room and blamed family dog
• began running away
• set fires in and around house
• fainted when not getting own way
• tortured the family pets and killed the hamsters."
"Between his seventh and eighth years my child demonstrated the following behaviors:
• vomited on dinner table (in home or restaurants) when corrected
• urinated into the family shampoo
• vomited on teammates if peers didn’t do what he wanted
• stole lunches from peers at school
• smeared feces on walls of school bathrooms
• reported dying foster father to Social Services for abuse. **
Quinn’s behaviors became much more serious once he reached his ninth and tenth years:
• sexually molested younger children then threatened to kill them if they told
• broke into family friend’s home
• began consuming alcohol
• tortured and burned small animals; threatened to burn siblings."
On a personal note, I'm so happy to report that plans for building the financial nestegg needed to shoot The Boarder this summer go on. On March 21st there will be an auction with a chili cook-off and a dessert bake-off at the Ravenna, NE City Auditorium. It should be fun so I hope you plan to come. If you need directions don't hesitate to contact me for help. You can get in touch with me on the website, at contact Jane.
The word about this project is spreading and I thank you for that. Blessings to you for now and I'll be in touch. Jane
"Beginning at his fourth birthday until the end of his sixth year, Quinn:
• ripped and poked holes in his own clothing
• set siblings up to fight with each other then “rescued” the loser
• threatened suicide
• threatened to kill peers “if you tell”
• threatened to kill mother (knives, fire) and siblings
• broke the family dog’s back
• intentionally hurt self and not cry
• skipped school starting in kindergarten
• urinated on rugs and in corners of room and blamed family dog
• began running away
• set fires in and around house
• fainted when not getting own way
• tortured the family pets and killed the hamsters."
"Between his seventh and eighth years my child demonstrated the following behaviors:
• vomited on dinner table (in home or restaurants) when corrected
• urinated into the family shampoo
• vomited on teammates if peers didn’t do what he wanted
• stole lunches from peers at school
• smeared feces on walls of school bathrooms
• reported dying foster father to Social Services for abuse. **
Quinn’s behaviors became much more serious once he reached his ninth and tenth years:
• sexually molested younger children then threatened to kill them if they told
• broke into family friend’s home
• began consuming alcohol
• tortured and burned small animals; threatened to burn siblings."
On a personal note, I'm so happy to report that plans for building the financial nestegg needed to shoot The Boarder this summer go on. On March 21st there will be an auction with a chili cook-off and a dessert bake-off at the Ravenna, NE City Auditorium. It should be fun so I hope you plan to come. If you need directions don't hesitate to contact me for help. You can get in touch with me on the website, at contact Jane.
The word about this project is spreading and I thank you for that. Blessings to you for now and I'll be in touch. Jane
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